Well, my attempt at writing once a month was a lie, apparently Ha!
I've been so busy, with so many things going on since I last blogged, but NOW... Now, I am not so much. Let me go back and give some insight as to why:
Since I last blogged, my husband (Anthony) and I visited California before he deployed. Well, now he's been gone since June. That's a whole can of worms in itself. Being the spouse of a deployed soldier is always hard, but for some it is much harder than it is for others. I'm well aware of this, and I'm thankful that everyday I know my husband is safe. He isn't out there in harm's way, he isn't being shot at or worse. That's why I never really complain about it because honestly, there isn't anything I should be complaining about. I'M not the one deployed. I'M not the one working insane hours, working with people I can't stand, in a foreign country I know nothing about. I do miss him, who wouldn't miss their spouse being gone for so long? I do get irritated when I see people complaining that their spouse has been gone for a week. "I just miss him/her so much", "I don't know how I can deal with him/her being gone any longer." I just want to tell them to put on their big girl/boy panties and get with the program. I'm sure they've got things to do, and sulking shouldn't be one of them. Okay. Enough of that.
Since he's left, I was working for Waste Management. Well, turns out THAT wasn't such a wonderful job change because I got laid off last Friday. What a deal, right? At first I was very upset about it. I thought, "This was supposed to be my big break". I was going to use this job to transfer to and when Anthony retired, at least I would have a job, right? WRONG. Well, that's at least how I felt when I found out. I've come to the realization that this was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. How's that you ask? Well here, let me tell you: Now I'm going to go to school for my passion. It isn't every day that someone gets to do that anymore, you know? In the Spring, I will be entering a veterinary technology program so that I can work with animals. Every day. I mean, that's an animal lovers dream! To help animals, every day. Losing my job with WM forced me into school. I've spent my entire adult life just trying to make money, be a second income, but it's never been doing something that I've loved and now that's going to change. I must admit, if it weren't for having such an amazing, supportive husband, it wouldn't even be possible for me to attend the school. He went behind my back and transferred his GI Bill to me. We had discussed it for years, but I had always told him no, that I wanted him to hold on to that as a "just in case" fall back plan when he retired. Well, this tricky man of mine got it approved before I could say no lol. He truly is an amazing man, and only wants the best for me. Who could ask for a better life partner?
Also since last time, I've gone home solo. I had my 10 year high school reunion! I was so extremely hesitant to attend, but I'm so glad I did. I had such a wonderful time seeing everyone. Also traveled around a bit, drove up to Northern/Central California to visit one of my best friends and my Aunt/Uncle. Also visited with my nephews. When I got home I was so tired, I needed a vacation from my vacation!
Basically, right now, I'm just trying to stay focused on the goal right now: Get going with school, keep busy, don't get sad and make sure none of the animals die (that last one is the easiest). I'm starting to make great friends here, which is nice and it helps ease the transition to moving here. I'm very much a social person and I NEED interaction lol. I've always been that way, I need socialization. I'm like a dog. If I don't have it, I get aggressive and withdrawn HA!
My Grandpa Ray has been gone 3 years today and it still feels like just yesterday we were all saying goodbye to him. Having lost them and the pain it comes with has gotten easier, but I still miss him and my Grandma Ruby terribly. I essentially lost my Grandparents and my Parents and it's hard, really hard, to deal with all of this and not have my Grandma to call and discuss things with, but... I'm learning how to deal with things on my own, so I guess it's a good thing? I don't know.
You grow up, start your own life/family and eventually stomp your own path out. There are people who help along the way, there are some people who throw branches in the way (Hell, sometimes they throw fallen trees), but you learn how to climb, get through and jump over the obstacles and you're better for the experience.
At least that's what I keep telling myself! :)
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Blackbird
It has been WAY too long since I've posted a blog and I sincerely apologize, but I've had so many things going on!
The last time I wrote, I believe it was in February and I was having a rough time adjusting to not only moving here, but not having my Grandmother to help me through it and while I'm still not anywhere near settled on the latter part of my previous statement, I am trying to find my path here in the PNW (Pacific Northwest for you folks out there who've never been here before or have never heard that acronym).
Last I spoke with you all on here, I was believe I was searching for a new job. Well, TA-DA! I'm a month and 2 weeks into a NEW job! I worked for Nabisco for almost 3 and a half years, and while I liked it when I was in California, transferring here, I do believe, was a mistake. I didn't like my sales rep and my hours got more than cut in half. But now, here I am, working at a new job where I work at the minimum 40 hours per week! It's a pretty drastic change, but so far I'm really liking the job and the people I work with. I truly feel blessed.
I've basically just been trying to adjust to life here in the PNW, adjust to the rain, the gloom, the chill of living right off the water... It's just so different than what I'm used to. Not to mention, I'm so far from what family I have left and friends that I feel like are family. Supposedly though, these next couple months are supposed to be amazing here. We'll see.
I'm going to be coming back to California at the end of May! I seriously can't wait to see everyone, take my nephew to Universal Studios, grill with friends, enjoy the heat and just relax at a place that I feel at home. My husband and I both can't wait! We're so excited to be somewhere that you have to wait until later in the day to go outside because you'll get a sunburn almost immediately if you spend time outside during the day. HA! I never thought I would miss the Central Valley and it's horrible air quality, it's hail cannons, it's dust and tractors taking over the roads, but let me tell you the grass is NOT always greener!
Well, technically here it is because everything is always green...
Anyway, I just wanted to write a quick "Hey I didn't forget about my blog" blog, and I'm going to try to write one once a month. Just to keep everyone updated and sometimes share a fun recipe or two :)
Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and are ready for this coming work week, because I know I am!
Make it a great week or not: The choice is yours :)
The last time I wrote, I believe it was in February and I was having a rough time adjusting to not only moving here, but not having my Grandmother to help me through it and while I'm still not anywhere near settled on the latter part of my previous statement, I am trying to find my path here in the PNW (Pacific Northwest for you folks out there who've never been here before or have never heard that acronym).
Last I spoke with you all on here, I was believe I was searching for a new job. Well, TA-DA! I'm a month and 2 weeks into a NEW job! I worked for Nabisco for almost 3 and a half years, and while I liked it when I was in California, transferring here, I do believe, was a mistake. I didn't like my sales rep and my hours got more than cut in half. But now, here I am, working at a new job where I work at the minimum 40 hours per week! It's a pretty drastic change, but so far I'm really liking the job and the people I work with. I truly feel blessed.
I've basically just been trying to adjust to life here in the PNW, adjust to the rain, the gloom, the chill of living right off the water... It's just so different than what I'm used to. Not to mention, I'm so far from what family I have left and friends that I feel like are family. Supposedly though, these next couple months are supposed to be amazing here. We'll see.
I'm going to be coming back to California at the end of May! I seriously can't wait to see everyone, take my nephew to Universal Studios, grill with friends, enjoy the heat and just relax at a place that I feel at home. My husband and I both can't wait! We're so excited to be somewhere that you have to wait until later in the day to go outside because you'll get a sunburn almost immediately if you spend time outside during the day. HA! I never thought I would miss the Central Valley and it's horrible air quality, it's hail cannons, it's dust and tractors taking over the roads, but let me tell you the grass is NOT always greener!
Well, technically here it is because everything is always green...
Anyway, I just wanted to write a quick "Hey I didn't forget about my blog" blog, and I'm going to try to write one once a month. Just to keep everyone updated and sometimes share a fun recipe or two :)
Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend and are ready for this coming work week, because I know I am!
Make it a great week or not: The choice is yours :)
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Wind Beneath my Wings
I remember singing the title song in the back seat of my Grandma's cadillac, in between reading billboards out loud, smashed in between two of my great aunts on a road trip through the South to visit family. I had a radio sitting in my lap, listening to my Bette Midler tape and I remember it like it was yesterday...
Today, February 20th 2014, would have been my Grandma Ruby's 84th birthday. She passed away in September. I miss her more than words could ever measure.
You always think that the people you care about the most will be there forever. At least, that is what I thought. I always just assumed my grandparents would live forever. I thought that if I ever had children, that my grandma would always be there for me to call when I didn't know what the hell I was doing and my grandpa would be there to play and making silly faces with them.
I know as we get older we die. It's a fact of life. I'll just never be okay with my grandma passing away.
When my grandpa died, he was so, so sick. He deserved to be released from that, and in a way, I was happy that he wasn't in pain anymore. He went from being a vibrant, ornery old man to not remembering some of us, and it went as far as him one time thinking I was his nurse.
I had to step out of the room on that one. I know he didn't know, but it completely broke my heart.
Being there when he left this world was one of the hardest things I had ever done in my life at that point, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I miss his smile, his quirky sayings and his compassion so much.
With my grandma it was different. She was the healthiest 83 year old woman I ever knew. She took great care of herself, and everyone around her knew it. Then one fateful day changed everything. She had a stroke and nothing will ever be the same again. It isn't fair that she had to leave like that. It isn't fair to her, to us.
I was the only one with her the morning she passed away. In a way, I want to believe that she waited for me to get there that day to let go. Again, it was the worst day of my life, but I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.
Some of you may have been at the funeral, some may have not, some may have no idea who she was who are reading this. Either way, I wanted to share with you my eulogy. I think that she would have really liked what I had to say.
On that note, here we go:
When someone you love passes away, there is a strong temptation to remember them perhaps a little too well. Only the most shining characteristics of our loved ones make it into the version of them that we keep with us when they depart.
My Grandma's only fault was that she left this world too soon.
I can't really even express how much I'm going to miss her. She was the one I'd call when I didn't know simple things like how to hard boil an egg. I'd call her when I was upset and she was my rock. I'd call her when I was excited and she was my companion in the happiness it brought. I just hope that she sees us all here and realizes just how many people's lives she touched and what she meant to all of us.
Today, February 20th 2014, would have been my Grandma Ruby's 84th birthday. She passed away in September. I miss her more than words could ever measure.
You always think that the people you care about the most will be there forever. At least, that is what I thought. I always just assumed my grandparents would live forever. I thought that if I ever had children, that my grandma would always be there for me to call when I didn't know what the hell I was doing and my grandpa would be there to play and making silly faces with them.
I know as we get older we die. It's a fact of life. I'll just never be okay with my grandma passing away.
When my grandpa died, he was so, so sick. He deserved to be released from that, and in a way, I was happy that he wasn't in pain anymore. He went from being a vibrant, ornery old man to not remembering some of us, and it went as far as him one time thinking I was his nurse.
I had to step out of the room on that one. I know he didn't know, but it completely broke my heart.
Being there when he left this world was one of the hardest things I had ever done in my life at that point, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I miss his smile, his quirky sayings and his compassion so much.
With my grandma it was different. She was the healthiest 83 year old woman I ever knew. She took great care of herself, and everyone around her knew it. Then one fateful day changed everything. She had a stroke and nothing will ever be the same again. It isn't fair that she had to leave like that. It isn't fair to her, to us.
I was the only one with her the morning she passed away. In a way, I want to believe that she waited for me to get there that day to let go. Again, it was the worst day of my life, but I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.
Some of you may have been at the funeral, some may have not, some may have no idea who she was who are reading this. Either way, I wanted to share with you my eulogy. I think that she would have really liked what I had to say.
On that note, here we go:
When someone you love passes away, there is a strong temptation to remember them perhaps a little too well. Only the most shining characteristics of our loved ones make it into the version of them that we keep with us when they depart.
My Grandma's only fault was that she left this world too soon.
As
most of you know, she played a very intricate role in my life, as well as my
brother. She and my Grandpa Ray raised both of us from a very young age, and
spoiled us rotten. I know I was a little brat from time to time, but she always
called me her shadow and I went everywhere with her. I think I was closer to
all of my Great Aunt's then I was anyone else in our family!
There
are thousands of things I could go on about and the values she taught me, but I
think the best thing she has instilled in me over the years was her strength.
She was the strongest woman I know, and She was always there for everyone, and
I do mean EVERYONE. She tried to teach me that whatever was happening at that
moment, wasn't the end of the world. Even though it sure felt like it
sometimes.
When my Grandpa passed away, two years ago this
month, we all took it very hard. I think she was lost for a while, but she kept
on visiting my husband and I, we would all go have lunch or we'd have her over
to our house for dinner... Even though she hated the fact that my dogs loved
her. She would always say, “I like your dogs, I just don’t like them near me.”
She also visited my nephews all the time. Those boys couldn't have made her any
happier.
She lived for her family.
She lived for her family.
I can't really even express how much I'm going to miss her. She was the one I'd call when I didn't know simple things like how to hard boil an egg. I'd call her when I was upset and she was my rock. I'd call her when I was excited and she was my companion in the happiness it brought. I just hope that she sees us all here and realizes just how many people's lives she touched and what she meant to all of us.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Pour Some Sugar on Me
A good friend of mine recently wrote a blog about her and her fiance's "Top 5 Celebrities they would leave each other for" haha. It gave me inspiration to do one of my own!
We talk about it all the time, whenever we watch a movie with one of our celeb crushes and it's always hilarious to me to see some of the women my husband is attracted to. I'm sure it's the same for him.
So, without further ado, our Top 5 Celebrity Lists of 2014. Enjoy :)
He's gorgeous in every way, from his ridiculously perfect smile, to his rockin' Thor bod. He can sweep me away any day.
He said he chose her because... She's hot. Then he said, "They're all going to be the same reason, because they're all hot." haha
We talk about it all the time, whenever we watch a movie with one of our celeb crushes and it's always hilarious to me to see some of the women my husband is attracted to. I'm sure it's the same for him.
So, without further ado, our Top 5 Celebrity Lists of 2014. Enjoy :)
My #5 Chris Hemsworth
He's gorgeous in every way, from his ridiculously perfect smile, to his rockin' Thor bod. He can sweep me away any day.
His #5 Jennifer Lawrence
He said he chose her because... She's hot. Then he said, "They're all going to be the same reason, because they're all hot." haha
My #4 Michael Fassbender
Um. He's gorgeous, has an accent and I'm a sucker for accents. Btw, that's my hand. Don't tell my husband.
His #4 Gabrielle Union
My #3 Gerard Butler
I don't care if he changes girlfriends like underwear, he has an accent.
His #3 Brooklyn Decker
My #2 Jake Gyllenhaal
He can be my bubble boy.
His #2 Olivia Wilde
My #1 Mark Wahlberg
Whether he's Marky Mark or the dude with a teddy bear for a best friend. YES PLEASE.
His #1 Kate Upton
Hell, I can appreciate that, she's beautiful!
There you have it. Our top 5 list of celebrities we have given each other passes for. It'll happen one day, right? RIGHT??!?!
:)
Friday, January 17, 2014
Over You
It's so crazy how you can read something on the Internet and then a song comes on and your eyes swell up with tears. You weren't thinking about anything remotely close to that just seconds ago and now... That's all you can think about.
While browsing through Facebook statuses, dumb YouTube videos, links to people's favorite baked macaroni and cheese recipes, I see a little, red notification pop up that tells me I've been tagged in something.
I click on it. This song plays on the radio as I sit in my truck, letting it warm.
And just like that my mood changes. Seconds ago I was just a robot, doing my daily routine, just getting off of work. My eyes swell and I immediately start thinking back to all the memories I've had and that fateful night. How can something like that effect you so many years later? I know it's much harder on my friends and family of the boys who died that night, but we were all there, celebrating God knows what. I'm pretty sure it was just one of those random parties we had out at the ranch, with some of our favorite people.
I remember clear as day, Garrett and Mat, relentlessly breaking the crystals in the Aftershock bottle with a screwdriver and passing some to me.
She said it's been 12 years since the accident happened that took away Carlos and Mat. There was a third guy, driving, but I didn't know him well and I feel bad for not remembering his name. Carlos and Mat both were like brothers to me and just moments before the accident my actual, by blood brother was in the truck and it could have been him. Funny how things work out sometimes.
I think all of us that were there that night can and will always remember it like it was yesterday, the memories forever burned in our minds, but you try to move on. Adjust. Adapt. You grow up, learn from your experience and try to not remember what you will be forced to always within you.
I promise, I WILL write a happy post soon, but for today... I just want to remember the guys, the fun times we all had and I want to remember their families. Their friends, fiance's, girlfriends and loved ones. Whether it be months, or years, I know it doesn't get any easier losing someone you care so deeply for.
Whether you know what I'm talking about or you don't, just remember: Those you love today may not be here tomorrow so don't put off telling them what you think they need to hear.
-Sarah
While browsing through Facebook statuses, dumb YouTube videos, links to people's favorite baked macaroni and cheese recipes, I see a little, red notification pop up that tells me I've been tagged in something.
I click on it. This song plays on the radio as I sit in my truck, letting it warm.
And just like that my mood changes. Seconds ago I was just a robot, doing my daily routine, just getting off of work. My eyes swell and I immediately start thinking back to all the memories I've had and that fateful night. How can something like that effect you so many years later? I know it's much harder on my friends and family of the boys who died that night, but we were all there, celebrating God knows what. I'm pretty sure it was just one of those random parties we had out at the ranch, with some of our favorite people.
I remember clear as day, Garrett and Mat, relentlessly breaking the crystals in the Aftershock bottle with a screwdriver and passing some to me.
She said it's been 12 years since the accident happened that took away Carlos and Mat. There was a third guy, driving, but I didn't know him well and I feel bad for not remembering his name. Carlos and Mat both were like brothers to me and just moments before the accident my actual, by blood brother was in the truck and it could have been him. Funny how things work out sometimes.
I think all of us that were there that night can and will always remember it like it was yesterday, the memories forever burned in our minds, but you try to move on. Adjust. Adapt. You grow up, learn from your experience and try to not remember what you will be forced to always within you.
I promise, I WILL write a happy post soon, but for today... I just want to remember the guys, the fun times we all had and I want to remember their families. Their friends, fiance's, girlfriends and loved ones. Whether it be months, or years, I know it doesn't get any easier losing someone you care so deeply for.
Whether you know what I'm talking about or you don't, just remember: Those you love today may not be here tomorrow so don't put off telling them what you think they need to hear.
-Sarah
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Roll Away Your Stone
So, I've decided to start my very own blog :) I've been contemplating it for a very long time, but never really knew where to begin.
Where do I start?
What do I write about?
Will anyone read it?
I've gotten to the point where I've decided to just write about whatever is in my mind at the time. Perhaps a fun recipe, a sad thought, a fun idea. I realize that I don't care how many people will read it, as long as I can get it out of my read and on to "paper", so to speak.
When I was younger, I used to write in a diary of sorts. A journal, if you will. As I got older, my Grandmother had a typewriter and she let me use it. I started typing different things: Short stories, thoughts, feelings. Anything I wanted because it was for myself, it was personal and fun.
I think I got my urge to share thoughts on paper from her.
She used to keep a journal. She started writing before I could remember. She would write in her book every day about different things: Her family, finances, thoughts, feelings. She rarely shared it with anyone. After she passed away, I inherited some of them.
I haven't have the courage to crack one open yet.
I believe that sharing your life with friends and even strangers is a great way to get different perspectives on things that you may be narrow minded about. Sometimes, I get stuck in my own head and focus so hard on one thing, that I don't see everything around it. We all need a little nudge out of the ordinary every once in a while. Especially me. I have a horrible problem with dwelling.
I think that starting this blog will be nothing but positive for me. I hope everyone enjoys reading what I share, and doesn't judge.
Just appreciate the fact that my views and thoughts may be different than yours. Maybe you too will discover that your focus is on one thing, when you should look at the big picture.
Also, a fun fact: I will be titling all of my blog posts with a song title. Check them out, you may know the song, or it may be something new. Either way, it will have something to do with how I feel at the time I'm writing... It may help give you some insight on how I'm feeling :)
- Sarah
Where do I start?
What do I write about?
Will anyone read it?
I've gotten to the point where I've decided to just write about whatever is in my mind at the time. Perhaps a fun recipe, a sad thought, a fun idea. I realize that I don't care how many people will read it, as long as I can get it out of my read and on to "paper", so to speak.
When I was younger, I used to write in a diary of sorts. A journal, if you will. As I got older, my Grandmother had a typewriter and she let me use it. I started typing different things: Short stories, thoughts, feelings. Anything I wanted because it was for myself, it was personal and fun.
I think I got my urge to share thoughts on paper from her.
She used to keep a journal. She started writing before I could remember. She would write in her book every day about different things: Her family, finances, thoughts, feelings. She rarely shared it with anyone. After she passed away, I inherited some of them.
I haven't have the courage to crack one open yet.
I believe that sharing your life with friends and even strangers is a great way to get different perspectives on things that you may be narrow minded about. Sometimes, I get stuck in my own head and focus so hard on one thing, that I don't see everything around it. We all need a little nudge out of the ordinary every once in a while. Especially me. I have a horrible problem with dwelling.
I think that starting this blog will be nothing but positive for me. I hope everyone enjoys reading what I share, and doesn't judge.
Just appreciate the fact that my views and thoughts may be different than yours. Maybe you too will discover that your focus is on one thing, when you should look at the big picture.
Also, a fun fact: I will be titling all of my blog posts with a song title. Check them out, you may know the song, or it may be something new. Either way, it will have something to do with how I feel at the time I'm writing... It may help give you some insight on how I'm feeling :)
- Sarah
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)